Looking back on my life, I was once a girl full of colour in life. How I was so free in mind before despite having plenty of school work to be done. How I thought I will be stable and well by the mid of 20s. How I thought that being 20 means that I am an adult that has not much worries in life, fully established in life. I was so innocent back then. Thinking adulting is full of wise and maturity.
Little did I know that I will be having a quarter-life crisis. Little did I know that 25 will be the age that I will be struggling the most. How I fell deep into the darkness of life. Felt that life is hopeless. Running around in a circle. Felt very lost and couldn't find the escape. Dreamland was the only escape place for me at that time. Couldn't distinguish dreams from realities. I was stuck in life. A quarter-life crisis. It wasn't a joke.
Found my escape in the study again. The same old escape route. My comfort zone. Changing careers just to escape that hellish place. The escape that I was once make just as an excuse to quit, is now the most precious thing in my life. Finding my passion again. Finding the hope again in life.
Being an adult doesn't mean that I know it all. Realised now that everyone is just faking their way into adulthood. Fake it till you make it they say. I guess that's the cheat code in life. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows. One day you're on top of the world. Euphoric. Other days you're hitting rock bottom. Just want to crawl into the bed, shut the door and curtains. Be in total darkness.
Now I'm living my days following the flows. Be happy, be angry, be neutral, and be sad. Validating all the feelings and emotions, but not letting them carry me away. Still learning to stand firm on the ground. Still finding that anchor in the stormy sea. Having faith in life.
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