It's a sad day. A sad week.
Bidding goodbye has never been my forte, Being a people person makes it hard for me to say goodbye. Though it's not a permanent goodbye (as I can see them again outside and contact them whenever I can), but knowing that going to work tomorrow with the fact that they are not there anymore in their room, breaks me. It's been more than a decade since I experienced a heartbreak, but this one just hurts more. True, I've experienced separation and farewells with my bunch here and then throughout this decade, but getting to be left with short notice and out of a sudden, it hurts badly.
My depress button is once again being pressed. Maybe it hurts twice as hard because of my menses, but it does still hurt. It's not every day and it's not very easy to meet people that you can treasure in your workplace. And having not one, but two of them leaving you behind, it sucks. It really sucks. It's not that they decided to quit out of the blue, but it's due to internal workplace issues.
Going to work tomorrow, I need to be prepared. Haha, it feels like wanted to move on from a heartbreak, but it's not. Yet it still hurts. Knowing that in one week's time, I will begin working the evening shift again, but this time without them around, hits me. All this while, working the evening shift, it was one of the moments of my days that I am looking forward to. A lot of nights I just intentionally went back home late eventhough my shift had ended. Because having them around makes it bearable. Getting insane with them helps with my sanity.
One of the factors that I quit my last two jobs was because I have no friends or colleagues that I can bond with. That's when I realised that I am very much influenced by having friends around me. Although I still have my close friends a.k.a colleagues around at the workplace, losing two people at the same time really breaks me. Funny that I am feeling like this when I had just known these people for not even a year. Working at this place for a year now, and getting to know and work with them for the last 10-11 months was very much pleasant.
I now need to learn to cope with this heartbreak and sadness. Chin up, and learn to move on. Learn to adapt to a new environment. I need to accept that this is a process that I need to go through in life. People won't be with you forever. At one point in life, people will need to leave you, and so you need to learn to walk alone and go on with life. People come and people go, that's just how the world works.
But hey, cheer up, it's not like they're gone from this world. They're still around the corner, so you can just text them and buzz them, dear self. You can still meet up anywhere.
Indeed, God tests you with what you treasure in life. Be it wealth, health, spouses, children, friends and family, work, or houses. He will definitely test you with the things that you love to see how much you trust Him and depend on Him. He is about to raise your status as a Muslim.
"And most certainly shall We try you by means of danger, and hunger, and loss of worldly goods, of lives and of labour’s fruits. But give glad tidings unto those who are patient in adversity." (al-Baqarah, 2:155)
"The most severely tested people are the prophets, then the next best, then the next best. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of commitment to God." (Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2398)
"God is with those who are patient in adversity" (al-Baqarah, 2:153)
Dearest Dr A and Dr Z, I wish you all the best and may you receive good news and get the great job that you deserve. You deserve nothing but the best. This place is just too sucks for you and you guys deserve better. One day we'll meet up with the others once again to share our smiles and laughter. I pray that you get only the best in your life.
Love, F. A.
